No sex please, we are Singaporean. Interesting news from the little island today which had been hogging some secondary media headlines recently.

Apparently a woman who married her husband refused to have sex with him. It is rather interesting in that the man “rape” the woman. But shouldn’t the woman already foresee that sex would be part of the married life? I mean from the article the husband was trying to have sex for once a week. Also from the article, it seems the woman would not want her husband to stray. So how?

I don’t think the woman is wrong in asking for a no sex relationship. But if the husband so chooses to have sex outside, would it be alright? I know in some countries, bedroom failure is a legitimate enough reason for divorce. Yet the woman refuses to divorce the man. But not providing sex to the husband after being married is also wrong. Weird situation. Luckily we are all normal else we become like her.

Link to the original news article here and I have posted some extracts here:

SHE has an unusual relationship with her five-month-old son. Unlike the typical mum, she doesn’t dote on him.

Indeed, she sometimes harbours thoughts of strangling him. And it stems from her unusual relationship with her husband of six years. Madam Lim, 31, says she loves her husband but hates having sex with him. He ended up forcing herself on her.

The baby was the result of one of those forced trysts, hence her ambivalent feelings towards him. She feels hatred and shame over the marital rape - and the baby is a constant reminder of that. She finds it painful to cuddle him and hardly does that. During our interview, the chilly distance she set up between them is apparent. She seldom looked at him and did not once pick him up.

Madam Lim (whose real name is withheld) said she was raped despite obtaining a personal protection order from a court to stop her husband’s repeated sexual assaults.

While marital rape is not deemed a crime at present, lawyers say that Madam Lim may well have a case against her husband if such attacks continue after the proposed changes to Singapore’s criminal laws come into force. (See report on pPage 4.)

She spoke to The New Paper on Sunday at the home of her mother, who is taking care of the baby on weekdays.

When the boy started crying, Madam Lim stopped this reporter from going near him. ‘My mother can take care of him,’ she said, before calling out to the elderly woman. Though the baby is not with her on weekdays, she is still living with her husband.

‘I know this sounds crazy, but I still love my husband,’ she said. Initially, she was reluctant to talk about her ordeal. She later agreed to be interviewed because she wanted to encourage other wives like her to seek help.

‘The first two months after I gave birth were terrible,’ said the petite woman, who works as a clerk. ‘I could not even bear to bring myself to breastfeed the baby. I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.’

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Tags: marital rape, Singapore